the end of a chapter
Updated: Mar 26
When Lana Del Ray said ‘I'm going to take mind of you with me,’ I felt that.
I felt it within my soul- because when you move on from a chapter in your life, you still take the memory of that chapter with you into the next one. You take the people, the places and the physical remains of that era with you. They sit with you until the day you die, in sweet remembrance of that time.
I wonder how many chapters my life has had thus far. I'd be curious to know. To look down on my lifespan and name each one individually from birth until this very day. There are some I wouldn’t want to see, though many of them I wish I could revisit and fondly smile upon.
This is one of them. This chapter is coming to a close, and I am disappointed to see the last words of it scrawl themselves onto the paper in a messy finish. This chapter has been full of love and learning and constant laughter. It's been kept going by the hope of new prospects and young infatuation. It's one that I will cherish for a very long time. the people within it have my heart in a chokehold. The places I met these people will be my own small inside joke with myself and them. There's something so childishly devine about having an unspoken inside joke with someone. To look them in the eye in a room of people and wink, as if to say that you are living alongside each other and you both know it. It's the stuff of fairytales.
Glorify is one of the most beautiful words I've ever heard. So, in light of that, I glorify this chapter of my life. I glorify the people in it, each character that made it exciting and wholesome. I glorify the music that soundtracked the whole experience. I will never listen to those songs the same way.
I wonder if life has interludes. It must have them- like pages in between the important chapters to preempt me. Similarly to how an album has a minute or two long interlude to get you ready for the next heavy song. Interludes break your heart a little bit so that you can enjoy the following track more. They create vulnerability so that the song after them will reach deeper depths in your heart. This chapter wasn’t quite an interlude, because it contained far too many milestones for it to be one, though it did break my heart a little bit.
If you were a character in this chapter, and I am sure you will know it in your heart if you were, I think you are glorious. I will walk in life with the memory of us. It is not to speak as if you were dead, or dying, it’s to bring this era to a conclusion so I can move on to the next one with inner peace. It is easier to write a letter to the world instead addressing each person separately. You may be a character in the next chapter, and you might not. We'll have to let it write itself out and see.
This next time in my life is one of songs that I wrote without any meaning except to confuse the listener, ballads that tell you a story about innocent death, and an entire album that revolves around some place in Texas. It is going to be an wonderful time.
So, in conclusion, I will take mind of you with me.